Star Wars:Random Edition
by Epic Duck
Summary: Seriously,these guys belong in a mental asylum...
1. Don't Leave

This is my first fanfic,the chapters will be long or short depending on what crazy things that I think up. BTW,I don't own Star Wars or,sadly,any of the characters. All rights go to George Lucas because I couldn't talk him into trading me Star Wars for a penny and a lollipop. So...without further ado,I bring you Star Wars:Stupid Edition chapter 1,Don't Leave.

"Please Master! Don't do it!"

"Anakin calm down."

"I'm begging you! Don't leave me Master!

"Seriously,I'm not leaving. Now calm down."

"Do not leave! I'm not ready!"

"Anakin I'm just..."

"DON'T DIE ON ME MASTER! PLEASE!

"...Meditating"

Sorry for the very very short chapter but I promise that the next chapter will be much longer and hopefully funnier. Please review! I'm open to suggestions for ways to improve my writing or suggestions for future chapters. Thanks for reading and stay tuned for chapter 2! 8D


	2. Anakin,A lightsaber,No good

Here is chapter 2 of Star Wars:Random Edition. Thanks to Phyeth and pronker for reviewing the last chapter,and thanks to all of you who read (even if you didn't review).This chapter was Phyeth's idea.

"You're weapon is you're life Anakin."

His Master's words rang through his head as he walked into a village,on some planet that he didn't bother to learn the name of,to find a bounty hunter that he,again,didn't bother to learn the name of.

"There he is!" he thought as he quickly ignited the blade of his brand-new sapphire lightsaber and sprang toawards a random villager dove out of the way and Anakin's blade sliced through an unfortunate street vendor's cart.

"Oops,false ,can I have a taco?"

"I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT IS,NOW GET OUT OF HERE YOU STUPID TEENAGE BRAT! The angry street vendor roared.

"Hey,there he is!" he thought again and,as another random villager dove out of the way,he cut up a hut filled with people angry at a teenager with a laser-sword cutting up their home.

Again,and again,throughout the day,he tried to cut up random villagers,get food from angry street vendors,and he completely destroyed the village.

"Anakin."

"Yes Master?" 

"Why did you destroy the village?"

"I did no such thing!"

"We're running away from the angry villagers right now."

"Oh...um...it was the...uh..." he trailed off,trying to think of a good lie.

"Well?" Obi Wan asked.

"It was the pretty blue butterflies Master! They turned to the dark side,bent on destroying the galaxy! They decided to start with this very village for reasons unknown!"

"Huh?" 

"Then the senators were so boring that the villagers chased them away!"

"Huh?"

"The villagers were still angry,so they decided to chase you showed up,now they're chasing both of us!"

"Anakin you're lying is not helping at all."

"But it's true!"

"Padawan..."

They made it onto their ship and Obi Wan piloted it away from the planet as Anakin was playing with his accidently lost his grip on it and the hilt went flying toward the door,and hit Obi Wan in the head.

"PADWAN!" 

"What Master?" 

"Why is half of the ship covered in burns and scorch marks?" 

"It was the pretty blue butterflies..."

Obi Wan +A lightsaber=no good.

And that was chapter 2! Again,I am looking for ideas for future chapters or just ways to improve my tuned for chapter 3! :D


	3. Stolen lightsaber and Master Window

Star Wars:Random Edition chapter 3 is here. Thanks to pheyth,plonker,animallover4eva,and Ali Night for adding this story to their story alert. And thanks to everyone who continues to read. Without further ado,chapter 3 is here!

"Anakin!" Obi Wan yelled as he chased his Padawan through the halls of the Jedi temple."Give it back!"

"Why would I do that?" Anakin replied in a teasing voice.

"I don't know,maybe because..." he trailed off as they both skid to a stop. In front of an ugly,unattractive,boring,-"

"HEY!" *pushes out of the way and retypes*

"WINDOW!" 

"SHUT UP STUPID AUTHOR PERSON! YOU KNOW THAT IS NOT MY NAME!"

"I have a name you know...and window is much funnier."

"I DON'T CARE!"

"I'm going to start calling you Master Window from now on! Muahahahaha!" *pushes Window out of the way and re-re types*

"I don't know,maybe because..." he trailed off as they both skid to a stop. In front of an ugly,unattractive,boring,angry,disturbing,bald,Master Window.

"Hello Master Window." Anakin said.

"Stupid authoress," he muttered before remembering that I can make him pay for saying that (:D)

"Padawan Skywalker,Knight Kenobi what is the meaning of this?" he asked irritated,these two were always up to something.

"Nothing!" they both said quickly,too quickly.

"Padawan Skywalker." he said,looking at Anakin. "What is the meaning of this?"

"PICKLES!" he yelled as he jumped out of the nearest window (not Master Window) and landed on the Chancellor's speeder.

"That was...strange." Obi Wan and Master Window said in unison.

"Saying things in unison,stupid it is." Yoda said as he literally appeared out of thin air. He hit the two with his cane thing (I don't know what it's called) that was oddly painted pink and walked away.

Suddenly a loud explosion sounded from the direction in which Yoda had walked in.

"ME IT WAS NOT! IT WAS THE WAFFLES! THEY ARE SQUISHY!" Yoda's voice rang through the temple.

"You never told me what you and you're padawan were doing." Master Window told Obi Wan.

"Oh,um,we were...I'm going to go check out that explosion .Ok? Got it? Alright? Bye!" he said so quickly that Master Window hardly could understand what Obi Wan said.

He came to one conclusion:Everyone has gone insane.

"At least I'm still sane," he muttered to himself.

I wouldn't count on it.

"SHUT UP!"

This idea has been in my head for weeks so I finally decided to make it into something. If you have any ideas for future chapters please do not hesitate to tell me in a PM or review. Chapter 4 will be up as soon as I think of something and type it,so...see ya later!


	4. Anakin wants some pickles

Hello readers,chapter 4 is here. Thanks to Ali Night for telling me that Yoda's cane thing is called a gimer (gimmer?) stick. Lol,and thanks to everyone who continues to read. Also, thanks to Ali Night for reviewing and adding this to their favorites. I'm done rambling now,so you may read.

"Maaassstteeerrrr." Anakin whined.

"What Anakin?" Obi Wan asked,annoyed at his padawan's constant whining.

"We're lost,aren't we?"

"No."

"Misplaced?" 

"Umm,no."

"Off track?"

"Anakin..."

"Disoriented?"

"Padawan!"

"Yes Master?" Anakin asked,looking innocently at his Master.

Obi Wan sighed. "Can you please be quiet for a minute so that I can think of where we're going?"

"Nope!" he said with a smile.

Obi Wan gave him him a stern look.

"Fine..."

5 seconds later:

"I want some pickles..."

"ANAKIN!"

"Sorry Master."

6 seconds later:

"I really want some pickles..."

"ANAKIN!"

"Oops,sorry."

7 seconds later:

"When we get find out how to get back to the ship,I'm gonna get some pickles..."

"ANAKIN!"

"Calm down Master,I'll give you one!"

"What's with you and pickles?"

"I liked waffles but Master Yoda used some explosives to blow them up."

"Along with the dining hall" Obi Wan added.

"We could be on our way to Courascaunt by now,this is your fault!"

"What's my fault my very young padawan?"

"You forgot how to get back to the ship! And I have a name you know!"

"Anakin you're the one who parked the ship in that forest,so stop blaming me!"

"Master can I tell you something?"

"Sure,what is it?"

"I still want some pickles."

Chapter 5 will be either later today or tomorrow. I am open to suggestions for chapters,if I don't use it right away it's because I decided to save it for later. Read on! :D


	5. Anakin did you do it or not and Beardy

Hello people! I am soooooooooooooooooo sorry for taking so long to update,but I broke my laptop and just got it back. That (hopefully) won't happen again. Thanks to Ali Night,GoseiGokaiRed,Anakin-Jason-Skywalker-Kenobi,and Pheyth for reviewing. BEHOLD! THE NEXT CHAPTER! *music plays* READ ON!

"Anakin did you or did you not paint Master Windu's robes pink?"

"Um...pass."

*facepalm* "Just answer the question."

"Well...I was just minding my own business when suddenly the pickles appeared. They looked soooooooooooooooooooooooo tasty so I ate them and then waffle ghosts were chasing Master Yoda and he screamed like a fun sized candy bar and then you'd never guess what happened Master! The smileys came from Planet Smiley! They were soooooooooooooooooooooooooo creepy and after a long squence of events that didn't happen they went back to Planet Smiley.

"Where is this story going Padawan?" 

"Then,Tru and I were freaking Ferus out with Darra's new doll and then after Ferus stopped screaming at us we ate some pickles and we ran out so we went and raided a candy story where they selled chocolate covered pickles. We ate those and then got the best idea EVER! We ate more pickles. Wait,that wasn't the idea. The idea was, we were going to pain the Temple! Since Master Yoda's favorite color is pink we got a few buckets of pink paint.

"I've got a bad feeling about this..."

"Master Window came around the corner and he asked what we were doing. We sort of panicked and threw the pink paint at him. Well,at his robes."

"Are you finished Anakin?"

"Let me see... *mutters whole story again to himself* Yep,I'm finished.

"So,long story short: You did paint his robes pink."

"Ya."

"Go meditate. Now."

"TRU AND DARRA! PLAN B! PLAN B!"

Tru and Darra suddenly appeared out of nowhere,literally,and threw pink paint at Obi Wan. All three Padawans fled.

"Wait,where did they get the pink paint from? Beardy do you know?"

Uh oh,Obi Wan isn't as sane as you thought he was Anakin-Jason-Skywalker-Kenobi! Planet Smiley was from a discussion between me and GoseiGokaiRed. Oh,and that mention of the doll is a new story I'm gonna write: Darra's Doll. It'll be a oneshot,and it will be funny.

**NEXT CHAPTER: **Narwhals and the first chapter with Beardy in it! Yay!


	6. Beardy,Narwhals,pink paint,oh my!

No one is sane in the saga...

"Anakin meet Beardy!"

"Maaaaaasteeeeerrrrrr I'm trying to eat pickles!"

"Fine."

Obi Wan went to introduce Beardy to the other Jedi.

_Meanwhile,in Yoda's apartment..._

The Jedi Master was trying to decide what shade of pink to paint his walls.

"Need an emergency Council meeting,we do."

_In the Council room..._

"What's this emergency meeting about? I need to get back to beating Kit at Mario Kart," Ayla said,annoyed.

Kit glared at her. "I was winning! BOWSER ALWAYS WINS!"

"Not for long,he's gonna lose. TO A GIRL! HAHAHAHAHAHA!" Ayla said as the Council members all scooted away from her.

"HERE I AM!" a voice called out.

"Master Yoda,what's the emergency?"

"Decide on what shade of pink to paint my walls,I can not."

Everyone groaned. Except for Obi Wan who was talking to Beardy.

"PAINT IT HOT PINK!" Adi yelled.

"Perfect that is! Adjourned this meeting is!"

Yoda pushed everyone out of the room before they could say anything else.

"Need hot pink paint I do. "Borrow" from Adi I will. Mind she will not. Hehehe..."

_Anakin and Obi Wan's apartment..._

Obi Wan stopped talking to his beard...for now.

"Anakin how come you don't like narwhals?"

"I used to like narwhals. Until I took one to the knee..."

"That doesn't make any sense!"

"You don't make any sense!"

"You're obsessed with pickles!"

"You're obsessed with your beard!"

"Am not!"

"R2!"

"Very funny..."

"Shut up!"

"It was Beardy!" And he talks to his beard again...

"Beardy's mean to me!" Anakin cried as he jumped out of the window.

"WINDOW JUMPING TIME! YAY!" Obi Wan yelled as he jumped out of the window.

Adi was chasing Yoda and guess what?

They...

Ready for the next chapter?

_No response._

COME ON! I SAID READY FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER?

_No response._

Wow tough crowd...


	7. Stupid Troll and Master Window Returns

Alright,time to thank the reviewers. Thanks to: GoseiGokaiRed,Anakin-Jason-Skywalker-Kenobi,and AaylaKit for reviewing.

**Continued from last time...**

They...jumped out of the window. Saw that coming didn't ya? Unfortunately for a certain pair of Jedi,the two Masters landed. On them.

"OW!" Anakin and Obi Wan yelled in unison.

"Saying things in unison,stupid it still is," Yoda said as he whacked them on the head with his gimer stick. (I know he whacks their shins,but this is funnier)

Anakin went unconscious and Obi Wan got the crazy knocked out of him,literally.

"GIVE ME BACK MY PAINT YOU STUPID TROLL!" Adi screamed angrily.

Yoda took off running with Adi close behind.

"Anakin,are you alright?" Obi Wan asked.

_No response._

*sigh* "Stupid troll," he muttered as he lifted Anakin into his arms.

_In the Healer's Ward..._

Anakin woke up and muttered something that sounded like "Stupid troll..."

"I don't think Master Yoda is a troll Anakin."

"Well he looks like one."

"Hmm. I guess he does look like one."

The two laughed until a healer walked over.

"How are you feeling?" she asked.

"Like a fun sized troll knocked me out with a pink stick."

*rolls eyes* Your have a concussion so I'd advise that you stay here for a few days.

*groan* "Maaaaaaaaaaster do I have to?"

"Yes Anakin,you do."

_I'm gonna have to think of an escape plan then..._

"

"Put your shields up Padawan."

_Stupid Master_

"Heard that."

_Back to Yoda and Adi..._

"Just borrowing it I am! Give it back I will!"

"Well why didn't you just say so?"

Adi walked away to find more paint for her collection. Don't ask her why she collects paint,just don't.

"Lalalalalala!" Yoda sang as he skipped to his apartment.

He painted hot pink flowers on his wall and returned the paint can to Adi.

"MY BABY IS HOME! Mommy missed you! Yes she did! Yes she did..."

Unfortunately for Master Window,Yoda had spotted him.

"OOOOO PINK!" Yoda yelled as he started chasing Master Window.

"This is going to be a looooooong week," he muttered.

**NEXT CHAPTER: **Anakin's escape,the chase continues,and...I need ideas. Lol :)


	8. Anakin's Escape

Next chapter is here! HOORAY! Thanks to AaylaKit and Anakin-Jason-Skywalker-Kenobi for reviewing. My laptop wasn't broken,I was just busy with school and Girl Scouts. READ ON,IF YOU DARE!

Anakin had his escape plan um planned out.

"Master dozing,check."

He looked at the door.

"Healer gone,check."

"Anakin staying in his bed and not leaving,check." Obi Wan said rolling his eyes.

"Fine." Anakin muttered unhappily.

**1 minute later...**

Obi Wan actually is dozing this time,so Anakin sneaks out through the air vents.

"Gotta find Tru. Gotta find Tru."

_Somewhere in the Temple:_

"IT'S PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME! PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!"

"TRU EITHER SHUT UP OR GET OUT OF THE ARCHIVES!" Some random Padawan yelled at him.

"PEANUT BUTTER JELLY! PEANUT BUTTER JE-

Said Padawan pushed Tru off of the table he was dancing on.

Tru glared at him.

"Meanie."

**In the air vents above the Archives:**

"Tru arguing with whatever that guy's name is,check."

Somehow he had gotten a bucket of pink paint,I have no idea when. Maybe when I was eating a pickle or something...BACK TO THE STORY!

"In 5...4...3...2...1..."

"BOOM!" he yelled. Then he poured the pink paint on Master Window who had come over to break up the fight.

"I JUST GOT PINK PAINT OFF AND NOW I HAVE TO DO IT AGAIN?" he screamed angrily and stalked off muttering stuff about "hating pink paint and idiotic Padawans."

The other Padawan left,leaving Tru alone.

"WAAAAAA! I'M LONELY!" he cried.

"HI TRU!" Anakin yelled as he jumped out of the air vents and landed. On Tru.

"Ow! Get off me dude!"

"Oops,sorry."

"So does your Master know that you left?"

"No."

"Yes." said a voice from behind them.

Tru ran away and Obi Wan led Anakin,literally,kicking and screaming back to the healers.

The healers gave Anakin a sedative.

Obi Wan made sure he watched Anakin closely. The boy will try to get away if he turned his ba-

"HI RANDOM HEALER PERSON!" he yelled turning his back.

He turned back around and guess what? NOTHING HAPPENED! Dun dun dun!

Aw chapter's over! Anakin was on a sedative so he couldn't have gotten away. Hehehe...

**Next Time: Happy Birthday to...guess! GUESS CORRECTLY AND GET A COOKIE! **


	9. Happy Birthday Yoda

*eats cookie* HAPPY BIRTHDAY YODA! :D

"Is everyone ready?" Mace asked the group of Jedi gathered in the room they were in.

"Yes!" yelled one.

"Ya!" yelled another.

"PIE!" Anakin yelled.

Everyone rolled their eyes as they got into position. Anakin used the Force to turn off the light switch. Everything went dark and...

**SURPRISE! **They all yelled when Yoda walked in the room to look for his cookies.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" they yelled.

"YOU'RE LIKE 2 RIGHT?" Anakin yelled.

Obi Wan dragged him out of the room to lecture him.

_Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah_

"Anakin...Anakin are you even listening?"

"Huh? Sorry I was thinking about pickles."

*facepalm*

They went back in...

Suddenly the whole room got dark.

"CORN DOGS CORN DOGS YUMMY YUMMY YUMMY!"

"SHUT UP PLO!" all the Jedi screamed,

They sat there in complete darkness and silent for about 10 minutes.

"Awkward silence." Anakin said causing the whole room to laugh.

"BEST PRESENT EVER I GOT!" Yoda sang while smiling his weird looking smile,though no one could see.

"What was it?" they all said in unison.

"Saying things in unison stupid it is. The Sun was my present,epic it was."

"Yoda how many times do I have to tell you to not take the Sun?" Mace said as he sighed.

"One more at least?" Yoda said looking as innocent as possible. Which of course was useless because the whole planet was immersed in darkness.

"PUT THE DANG SUN BACK!" Mace yelled,finally snapping.

Yoda went unhappily to put it back and soon everything got lighter.

"I like fire." Anakin spoke out suddenly as he looked at a nearby lighter.

Obi Wan quickly grabbed him and took him to the healers.

"I HATE THE HEALERS! THEY'RE MEAN! JUST LIKE YOU!" Anakin screamed at him.

"Qui Gon you so owe me one..." Obi Wan muttered.

Anakin started crying and Obi Wan added,

"Make the a million."

That was one crazy birthday... :D

**Next Time: **Video Games. This is gonna be fun...


	10. Smileys and Pie Tins

This is based on the completely random conversations between GoseiGokaiRed and I.

Anakin ran up to Ahsoka screaming "DON'T FORGET THE SMILIES!"

Ahsoka just stood there for a second.

"Smiles?" she asked,confused.

Suddenly an army of smilies came.

"IT'S THE APOCALYPSE!" they both screamed as they "borrowed" a nearby ship and took off.

They soon arrived at a planet.

"Phew,that was close Master...OMG IT'S PLANET SMILEY! GET BACK ON THE SHIP!"

They arrive back at the temple,let the smileys follow them onto the ship,and jumped out as the ship took off.

The second they entered the Temple,Yoda ran up to them.

"A COOKIE I AM!" he yelled with a giant,creepy,smile.

"Really?" Ahsoka asked the creepy smiled Grandmaster.

"NOT REALLY BUT CRAZY I AM!" he yelled,still smiling creepily,and skipped away. (can he skip?)

"Master can we get some pie?"

"Sure."

They stole some pie from the Temple kitchen.

Anakin ate the tin on accident.

"Oh. That's not healthy."

"Really Master?" *facepalms*

Obi Wan jumped out of an air duct and landed right by their table.

"Hi Ob- *passes out*

"What happened to Anakin?"

"He ate a pie tin." Ahsoka replied,gesturing to the missing pie tin.

"After we get him to the Healers I need to speak with you alright?

"Yes Master."

They dragged an unconscious Anakin to the healers.

"What did you want to talk about Master Kenobi?"

Next chapter will be up either tonight or tomorrow morning. :D

I decided to save video games for a later chapter.

**Next Chapter: **Obi Wan talks to Ahsoka about someone. (I have cookies for everyone who guesses who the "someone" is! They are really good ones too...)


	11. Boring Obi Wan and Berry The Bear

Me:AaylaKit gets a virtual cookie! You were partly right!

*audience claps wildly*

Random Dude: Where did they come from?

Me: My imagination. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Random Dude: -_-

"Master Kenobi what do you want to talk about?"

"Anakin."

"I've got a bad feeling about this."

"HEY THAT'S MY LINE!"

"I'm just a simple man,trying to make my way in the universe?" she asked.

"That's Jango Fett."

"Mmm. Lost a planet,Master Obi Wan has. How embarrassing."

"STOP QUOTING PEOPLE!" Obi Wan yelled. He was mostly just embarrassed at the last quote.

"Party pooper." Ahsoka muttered unhappily.

"Since you're living _Or dying _with Anakin,there's some things that you should know."

Ahsoka nodded her head. _This'll be good..._

"First thing,if Anakin offers to pilot **SAY NO**. He will end up crashing the speeder in the middle of the highway. Then he'll steal Master Window's speeder and crash it into a cantina. Then you're going to have to drag him half drunk out of the cantina with him singing something stupid.

Coincidentally,that's exactly what happened about a minute ago. Anakin staggered in singing a stupid song.

"This is the annoying song! La la la la la! You'll hate it but you'll sing along! La la la la la!"

Before he could continue,someone came and dragged him in the direction of the healers.

Ahsoka was still trying to piece together what just happened.

Obi Wan acted like nothing happened and continued.

"Next thing,don't let Anakin within a million light years of coffee."

"Why?" Ahsoka asked curiously.

"Because a healer will have to shoot him with a dart loaded with a sedative just to get him to calm down. By the time that's done,half of the temple will be destroyed."

Ahsoka got bored and sneaked away while he wasn't looking.

Obi Wan kept talking,not even realizing that Ahsoka left.

"Hi Master Secura." Ahsoka greeted with a smile.

"SOMEONE HAS KIDNAPPED MY TEDDY BEAR FROM MY STUFFED ANIMAL COLLECTION!" Aayla screamed.

"NOT BERRY!" Ahsoka cried.

They both ran off to find who kidnapped Berry the Bear.

They ran up to Anakin,who was out of the healers for the millionth time.

"Master someone kidnapped Berry!"

"I think I saw Kit with him." Anakin replied as he ate a bag of potato chips. Not the chips,the bag itself.

"Thanks Master!" Ahsoka said as she quickly ran off to find Kit.

"TO THE KIT KAT!" Aayla yelled as she followed Ahsoka.

Obi Wan ran up to Anakin,he finally noticed that Ahsoka left.

"Hey Obi Wa-" Anakin passed out again.

"I told you not to eat inedible objects Anakin." Obi Wan muttered as he took Anakin to the healers who were already waiting for him.

"How many times has he been here today?" one healer asked.

"How many times has he been hear in total?" asked another.

"Can I have a Happy Meal?" a third healer asked.

Everyone looked at him confusingly.

"Fine,I don't even want one..."

"I can have the toy though right?"

Me: I want some coffee

Dude 1: Here you go! *hands huge cup of coffee*

Dude 2: Oh no.

Me: *drinks whole cup* I LOVE COFFEE IT IS SO AWESOME CUZ IT MAKES ME HYPER HEY WHO'S LIKE CHCOLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE?"

**Next Chapter:** We find out who kidnapped Berry the Bear.


	12. Berry Pink

Me: HANNAH MEET PHILLIP! (Hannah is now my friend's name cuz I say so! HAHAHA!)

Hannah: Who?

Me: My penny.

Hannah: *facepalm*

**THE STORY...**

Ahsoka and Aayla ran up to random Jedi asking if anyone had seen Kit lately.

"We're NEVER going to find him Maaaaaaaaaaster!" Ahsoka whined.

"WE SHALL FIND THE KIT KAT AND GET BACK BERRY!" Aayla yelled as any Jedi that hadn't run away from the duo already quickly dashed out of the hallway.

"Can we stop for some pickles first? I'm soooooo hungry Maaaaaaster!" Ahsoka whined _again._

"EW PICKLES ARE NASTY! HAVE SOME PIE INSTEAD!" someone yelled from behind them.

"PIE IS NASTY! HAVE SOME PICKLES INSTEAD!" Ahsoka yelled back as she turned around.

Her and Aayla gasped. It was the Fisto guy.

"KIT KAT WHERE IS BERRY AT? I KNOW YOU KNOW..." Aayla started.

"BECAUSE SKYGUY TOLD US SO!" Ahsoka finished.

"Have some pie!" *throws pie in their faces and runs away*

"GET THAT KIT KAT!" they screamed and chased Kit who was dressed in a pie costume. Wait,when did he...never mind. We shall never know.

**Meanwhile somewhere in the Temple I'm too lazy to decide where...**

Yoda had left Mace alone for many chapters but decided to start chasing him again. Mainly because he was done staring at shiny objects around the planet.

"HELP! A FUN SIZED,CREEPY SMILED,REALLY OLD,GREEN TROLL IS CHASING ME! HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!" Mace screamed like a little girl as he ran from Yoda.

"Like pink things and butterflies I do!" Yoda sang while trying to catch Window.

"I heard Senator Amidala has pink butterflies in her apartment!" he screamed at the top of his lungs. He sounds like a little girl when he screams...

Yoda stopped running. Aw! He looks funny when he runs! Oh yeah I'm supposed to be writing the story right? Ok!

Yoda stopped running and instead skipped to Pink Padme's apartment.

**Back to the chase...**

Aayla and Ahsoka were closing in on the Kit Kat.

"WHAT DID I DO?" Kit finally just yelled as he stopped running.

"You kidnapped Berry The Bear from my collection and I WANT HIM BACK!" Aayla said as she started crying.

"I didn't kidnap him! I was walking in the Temple gardens and the wind blew him out of your open window. He landed on my head and I tried to find you so I could give him back."

"Oh." the duo said.

"I'm gonna leave you two _alone._" Ahsoka laughed as she ran off to go find someone to annoy.

"What does she mean by that?" Kit and Aayla asked in unison.

Suddenly a voice came over the intercom that they apparently had.

"Aayla and Kit sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G!"

"SKYWALKER!" they yelled and ran off to find him.

Before they got there he sang something else.

"ADI AND MACE SITTING IN A TREE K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" Anakin sang quickly before running from the four Jedi that he had sang about to the entire Jedi population in the Temple.

Anakin started running from them while shooting stickers at them with a blaster Padme let him borrow if he promised to not kill anybody with it.

He picked up Master Yoda in a speeder who had been staring at a shiny object on the streets of Coruscant.

Anakin ended up crashing the speeder into the side of a nearby cantina again and the two ended up running to Pink Padme's apartment instead.

All of them ate pink pickles and drank pink lemonade and set out to paint the Senate Building pink.

**Next Chapter: **Ahsoka annoys someone,you decide who. Anakin,Padme,and Yoda paint the Senate Building pink and get pink craziness.


	13. Twas The Night Before Easter

Anakin: Hello I am writing this chapter cuz the Duck of Epicness said I could! Isn't that awesome?

Hannah: IT IS TOTALLY AWESOME!

Anakin: I was too busy hanging out with my wi- I mean um...life last night to tell you this. I made this up myself! Twas The Night Before Easter...

Twas the night before Easter,when all through the house

Every creature was stirring,but not no dang mouse

The Easter eggs weren't dyed with much care

Hoping that dang bunny wouldn't come there

The children were sleeping,finally went to their beds

Or maybe they all just hit their heads

Padme wearing none of your business and I the same,

Had just settled down hoping that dang bunny hadn't came

When out in the living room there was such a clatter

I fell out of my bed,then went to check on my cheese platter

Away to the stairs,I flew in a dash

Fell down them all,just like a flash

When I turned on the light

Guess who was there,no less in the middle of the freaking night

Before my eyes,what should it be

But an animal,a big bunny (must have escaped from the Coruscant zoo...)

With a little nose,so tiny and pink

I knew who it was,and it gave me a wink

Out of thin air,eggs they came

And that little old bunny called them be name

Now Thrasher! Now Panster! Now Lanster! Now Mitten!

On Vomit! On Stupid! On Conner! On Fitten!

Go through the door! Not through the wall!

Go away! Go away! Go away all!

And then,in a tinkling,I turned my back

And hit my head with a loud Thwack!

As I turned back around

From the chimney I heard a sound

It was Santa Yoda,covered in fur

For a second I swore that he was a her

For once he didn't have a bundle of toys on his back (and that stupid gimmer stick...)

What the heck? He has a six pack! (I'm going to say it's pop. Hehehe...)

The drinks they fizzled,as they sat by a man that was "so merry"

Omg he has my favorite,Cherry!

He handed me a bottle,around it a big red bow

This is so awesome,it's Hoth snow!

He reminded me to always brush my teeth

And that it was never a good idea to eat a wreath

For a gift I gave him some meat from the local Deli (we have a Deli?)

Plus some yummy strawberry jelly

I couldn't help but think how he looks like an elf (and a troll)

And when I laughed,I got kicked into the bookshelf

I let out a sigh and thought in my head

This guy is so old,how is he not dead?

Santa Yoda left saying he had to return to work

Leaving me alone by myself,what a jerk

The bunny,still there,wiggled his nose

And all of the sudden,out the door he goes

The bunny jumped in a speeder,and to the eggs he gave a signal of sorts

And they all flew away,off of my front porch (we don't have a porch!)

For some reason,the Easter Bunny yelled as he drove out of sight

"Happy Easter to all! And to all Mace Window's pants look like they're too tight!"


	14. The Mission of Cookiness

**orry for not updating sooner. Laptop troubles (yes,again). This is part 1 of a 2 part chapter thingy,and the next one will be randomer and longer and cookier and umm and-er. Oh,and er-er. Anyone know what that means,cuz I don't.**

The "esteemed" captain of the 501st Legion just can't get a break can he? If the clones thought that handling Sepratists was tough,this was nearly impossible.

"Sir! Sir,come in!" came the frantic voice of a fellow clone over his com.

"Captain Rex here,what's the status of your mission?"

"We..um..sort of...uh..." the trooper stammered.

"Out with it soldier!" he practically yelled. No one was really around to hear him though,they were all busy with their mission.

Before anything else could be said,the com went dead and a scream echoed down the halls for all to hear. They were at war,and the enemy was far more dangerous than anything they'd ever faced before. 4 clones were down,but the rest were ready to go.

_Better watch out,because we WILL find you._

* * *

><p><strong>Me: You know what "Lol" means?<strong>

**Hannah: I've got a bad feeling aboout this...**

**Obi-Wan: THAT'S MY LINE~**

**Anakin: NO IT'S NOT,IT'S MINE!**

**Hannah: Where did they come from?**

**Me: Little laughing llamas!**

**Hannah: 1st of all,that's lll-**

**Me: EXACTLY!**

**Hannah: Why do I even try...**


	15. Water War

**I got my laptop back,thank the Force.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars,Kung Fu Panda,the name Matilda,or *shiver* the cursed singer,J.B. I cannot use his name because it is a curse word,at least if you ask my friend.**

_Better watch out,because we WILL find you._

Another scream echoed down the halls,making the remaining Troopers shudder. It was life and death,some of them decided it was "every man for himself." Those were the men that were now gone. Taken by the enemy,during this cursed war. And this was a war that they weren't trained to fight-

"AMBUSH!" a female voice screamed as two figures jumped out of the air duct,water squirters in hand.

-a water war.

"CODE RED! CODE RED! EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF!" Clones were panicking. Some running around in circles while being blasted,others taking cover behind boxes while trying unsuccessfully to shoot their Jedi enemy.

Anakin laughed maniacally as he shot with a bazooka-sized water squirter and threw water balloons filled with chocolate.

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Mmm,chocolate..." Random clone 1 muttered,

"Don't eat that,it could be poisoned!" Random clone 2 yelled,slapping him across the face.

"It's not poisoned." he stated matter-of-factually.

"How do you know that?"

"I have a 12th sense about these things Matilda."

RC2 stared at him blankly,then snapped out of his thoughts about evil lettuce dudes taking over vegetable land and making everybody stop eating pickles. It was horrifying.

"I told you,my name IS. NOT. MATILDA! And don't you mean a 6th sense?"

RC1 glared at him. "No,don't be stupid. That's my ability to tell people when they're wrong and I'm right about everything. And 7-10 are my ability to eat chocolate even when wearing my helmet that doesn't protect from explosions one bit so is actually pretty useless but looks cool. 11 lets me blow up,watch."

_3 seconds later..._

**POP! **RC1 blows up,leaving a daydreaming RC2 lost in his thoughts again as he doesn't even realize the first clone's unfortunate,and rather stupid, demise.

Meanwhile,Anakin and Rex were having a staring contest to determine the winner of the war. You see,they had shot each other at exactly the same time. Or at least if you ask Rex,for Anakin wasn't paying attention. He had been dreaming that pretty blue butterflies took over the galaxy after turning to the Dark Side,and the only way to stop them was to team up with the mystical Pink Lord of the Cats and destroy all the butterflies. Anakin mistook Rex for a butterfly because his armor had blue on it,so he started shooting like crazy before coming back to reality.

"Ready,set,PO!" Mrs. Referee of Awesomeness and Princess and Also Queen of Everything That Is Cool Including Pickles No Matter What Master Skywalker Says yelled.

"Huh?" Rex asked,raising an eyebrow at her.

"I like watching Kung Fu Panda," she said simply.

"No,I mean all the extra titles."

"She insists we call her that. Don't ask why," Anakin muttered before slamming his head on the table to see how long it would take until he could see stars.

"Why?"

"HE SAID DON'T ASK!" Ahsoka screeched at the top of her lungs,as fire surrounded her and she cackled evilly.

"Ok...the Commander has gone crazy...General sir,shall we call the war a tie?"

"Uh,sure T-Rex dude,you-you do that," Anakin said as he continued banging his head on the table. He pressed a button and all the captured clones were let go. Turns out they were all being forced to listen to *shiver* J.B.

_Later,later,la-la-la-later. Later *clap* Later later. Sorry,started thinking of a song,_

Mrs. Referee of Awesomeness and Princess and Also Queen of Everything That Is Cool Including Pickles No Matter What Master Skywalker Says had been shot with a dart loaded with a sedative and dragged to the Healers,while Anakin (after passing out from "watching the pretty stars") was dragged there too upon their arrival at the Temple. As for the poor Clones who had been captured,they ended up forgetting about the whole thing after 5 minutes.

So,the moral of the story: Epic Duck is crazy and has way too much fun writing this random stuff. MUAHAHAHAHA!

**I do lay claim to the title of "Mrs. Referee of Awesomeness and Princess and Also Queen of Everything That Is Cool Including Pickles No Matter What Master Skywalker Says."**

**I seriously don't know where that came from. I really don't know. Lol :D And I can tell you thr name of the song,if you want.**


	16. Wizard Mario of Huh?

**Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars, Mario Kart, The Wizard of Oz, a disco ball, flying pigs, or emo Jedi.**

Anakin,Mrs. Referee of Awesomeness and Princess and Also Queen of Everything That Is Cool Including Pickles No Matter What Master Skywalker Says,Obi-Wan,Aayla,and Kit were sitting on the couch in Anakin and _her_ room. They were in a heated game of Mario Kart and Kit was currently in the lead, followed closely by Aayla. Next was Obi-Wan,then Ahsoka. In dead last was Anakin,who preferred going through the course backwards than actually racing.

"BOWSER ALWAYS WINS! MUAHAHAHAHA!" Kit cackled,as lightening flashed and dramatic music played.

"Nu uh! Peach always wins. See?" Aayla laughed as she threw a mushroom at Kit,making him spin out of control,and passed him.

"DISCO PARTY! DISCO PARTY!" Anakin yelled as he jumped on the table and started dancing while Artoo spun in circles,flashing colors like a disco ball.

"Since when did he do that?" Obi-Wan asked the Togruta Padawan sitting next to him.

"I've never seen Skyguy dance before,and you were his Master! Wouldn't you know hey chocolate..."

*the whole galaxy screams NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO at the same time*

"I like CHOCOLATE! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh,and fire. Pretty fire..." she starts walking zombie-like towards a lighter.

Kit and Aayla managed to both cross the finish line on the third lap at the exact same time,for the 50th time in a row.

"That's it! I quit! Stop that! Does this controller make my lightsaber look fat?" they yelled in unison.

The whole room was engulfed in green smoke as Yoda appeared.

"Saying things in unison,stupid it is!" *hits Kit and Aayla on the shins with his stick,throws a water balloon filled with pink paint at Obi-Wan,leaves Mrs. Referee of Awesomeness and Princess and Also Queen of Everything That Is Cool Including Pickles No Matter What Master Skywalker Says alone,and drags Anakin off to make him taste the new soup he made.

Obi-Wan grabbed his Padawan's Padawan and dragged her to the Healers.

_She's so much like Anakin,I'm scared for the sanity of the galaxy._

Three Healers took her and he started to leave. Just as he started to walk out the door,2 Healers were walking in with an unconscious Anakin.

"What happened to him?"

"Master Yoda's soup."

"Ah."

It was a well known fact among the Jedi that Yoda loved soup. But he loved the soup that he made,which was toxic to anyone that wasn't of his species. And since there were no more people of his species left besides him,whatever his species was called in the first place,he's the only one who actually ate the soup. Or,what everyone else called it,toxic goop.

Obi-Wan started skipping down the yellow brick hallway singing happily.

"We're off to see the bald man! The ugly old bald name named Mace!"

**Meanwhile...**

Aayla and Kit were still in a heated game of Mario Kart. They tied once again,and it took Master Window running into the room and bashing the TV to pieces with a guitar to make them stop.

He turned to them. "You're welcome," he said before jumping out the window.

"WHERE DID THE WIZARD GO?" Obi-Wan bellowed as he ran into the room,in a pair of ruby slippers.

Before they said anything,he jumped out the window yelling something about Kansas.

"So..." Aayla said.

"So..." Kit responded.

"Aayla and Kit sitting in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G! First comes love,then comes marriage! Then comes the baby in the baby carriage!" a group of Younglings chorused.

"Why are you Younglings here?" Aayla asked,her face turning a deep shade of red. Whether it was from anger or from embarrassment,that part is unknown. Probably from both.

No one said anything. Kit walked over to them and decided to take them back to class. If it'd get him alone with Aayla,then it was worth it.

"Master Fisto,why did the scary red-faced lady yell at us?" one of the Younglings asked.

"She just wanted to know why pigs can fly."

"Master Fisto, what's a pig?"

"I'm not really sure."

They arrived and the Younglings walked into the wall.

"Oh,I can fix that," Master Mundi said as he randomly appeared. He cut a hole in the wall with his lightsaber and they all walked through it.

"I'm also a vampire!" *opens mouth to reveal fangs*

"I must warn you,my blood is not available for drinking. Please leave a message after the beep. Beeeeeep."

Ki-Adi rolled his eyes. "I'm not going to drink your blood. I only drink the blood of emo Jedi." *goes to find Anakin*

Kit got bored and decided to go for a walk. He didn't no where he was going,so he just kept walking straight until he got to a window. OMG,HE DIDN'T STOP AT THE WINDOW! AHHHHHH! Wait,I am just being told that when he walked out the window a flying pig caught him and they flew into Aayla's apartment.

RaNdOm Ending. :)

**I just remember reading something somewhere about Yoda calling Anakin an emo Jedi because he wears black and some other stuff,so I put that in there. Oh,and I actually have Mario Kart. Try going through the course backwards,it's actually way more fun than racing regularly.**

**If it doesn't make sense,then good. If it does,go to the doctor. You may have a severe case of the craziness.**


	17. Dynamite Jedi

**Beware what happens when the song Dynamite gets stuck in my head, I'm bored, and I get the "great" idea to Star Wars-ify it.**

I ignite my lightsaber sometimes

On a mission! Sometimes for fishin!

I wanna celebrate and stay alive

Saying woah! It's gonna blow!

I came to negoti- ate, ate, ate, ate

Punched a guy for asking for a date, date, date, date

For negotiating, is it too late, late, late, late?

This is just great, great, great, great

Yeah, yeah

'Cause we run on and on and on...

And we run on and on and on...

Yeah

I ignite my lightsaber sometimes

On a mission! Sometimes for fishin!

I wanna celebrate and stay alive

Saying woah! It's gonna blow!

We gonna fight the Sith

Make them say goodbye

We gonna fight the Sith

Like we're all Jedi

I told you once

Now I'll tell you later

We gonna fight the Sith

And keep track of your saber

I came to fight, fight, fight, fight

Don't worry I hardly bite, bite, bite, bite

Whoops, I lost my flash light, light, light, light

And my saber, so I have no light, light, light, light

Yeah, yeah

'Cause we fight on and on and on...

And we run on and on and on...

Yeah

I ignite my lightsaber sometimes

On a mission! Sometimes for fishin!

I wanna celebrate and stay alive

Saying woah! It's gonna blow!

We gonna fight the Sith

Make them say goodbye

We gonna fight the Sith

Like we're all Jedi

I told you once

Now I'll tell you later

We gonna fight the Sith

And keep track of your saber

I, I'm gonna run down the hall, I,

I'm going to knock down all who are standing

Running over all, I

I'm going to jump on ships that are landing

Cause I, I , I, feel like it,

And I, I, I, just hate that blasted hall...

I just hate that blasted hall...

I'm gonna swing my saber in the air!

Saber, saber in the air!

Swing your saber in the air!

I ignite my lightsaber sometimes

On a mission! Sometimes for fishin!

I wanna celebrate and stay alive

Saying woah! It's gonna blow!

We gonna fight the Sith,

Make them say goodbye,

We gonna fight the Sith,

Like we're all Jedi!

I told you once,

Now I'll tell you later,

We gonna fight the Sith,

And keep track of your saber!


	18. ObiWan, I Need To Tell You Something

"Obi-Wan! I need to tell you something!"

"Anakin, what is it?"

"I'm...I'm..."

"Well?"

"I'm..."

Obi-Wan slaps him, "Spit it out!"

Anakin glared at him and spit out his gum.

"That's not exactly what I meant..."

"Look, I'm... a..."

"Emo freak?"

Anakin slaps him, "I'm a Jedi!"

The Jedi around them didn't pay any attention. They were too busy being normal, boring people.

Obi-Wan didn't say anything. He just stood there, mouth open.

"Look, I know it's a shocking revelation. I know I should have told you earlier, but I didn't feel like it."

After awhile of awkward silence, Obio finally said something.

"What are you going to tell me next? Master Yoda is a girl?"

"Er..."

"Or that Master Mundi is a vampire?"

Speaking of Ki-Adi, he was currently flying down the hallway and stopped right in front of them.

"I'm a-here to suck ya blood!"

"I don't think I have blood..."

"Dang it, I'm going to starve now! I can only drink the blood of emo Jedi! Thanks for nothing!"

With that being said, the vampire/Jedi Master/crybaby/cookie/scratch that last one/Ow, I said the last one NOT ME!/great I think I'm stuck/HELP!/pie/seriously someone get help, flew into the air vent and got stuck.

The other two Jedi, Obio and Anakin, decided to go ask if anyone knew what gender Grumpy Old Troll was.

THE END.

Anakin rolled his eyes.

"Next time, I'M telling the story."


	19. 20 Strange Things Anakin Likes

**Anakin's Top 20 Things That He Likes:**

**1.** Food. Don't tell Padme, she will kill me. Literally, I think she has my lightsaber.

**2. **Padme, my wife. She makes good fried chicken.

**3. **My looks. I'm handsome, just ask the fried chicken lady. Er...I mean my wife...

**4. **Kenobi Bars. What would you do-OO-oo for a Kenobi Bar?

**5. **The hit song, Dynamite Jedi. Also been called SHUT UP ALREADY if I'm singing it. You know who you are. *coughObi-Wancough*

**6. **Annoying Master Window.

**7. **Ignoring Obi-Wan when he tells me to get a haircut because I look like a girl.

**8. **Teasing Obi-Wan about his girlfriend, Duchess Satine of Mandalore. I like to call her Duchess Dancing to make him mad. She does seem like a good dancer, though, unlike a certain bearded Master...

**9. **Making a droid of myself to trick Master Mundi into trying to drink it's blood. I guess oil doesn't taste good, he always spits it onto the nearest Jedi.

**10. **Getting Ahsoka to help me throw bananas at the Council from the window and air vent while they're in session. Plus we get to watch them slip on the banana peels when Yoda ends up eating the bananas and throws them on the floor.

**11. **My giant stuffed pickle named Bob.

**12. **The poem called The Night Before Easter, that I wrote. It's fantastic, I know. You didn't say that? Well you were thinking it. I ready you're mind...but don't try reading mine. It's empty, nothing to be found.

**13. **Telling people my mind is empty, when it's actually not. Freaks them out, and then Obi-Wan lectures me about stuff like listening to him because he's older blah blah blah. I didn't hear the rest of it, I wasn't listening.

**14. **Watching Chocolate Pudding Rangers. Go go Pudding Rangers! Go go Pudding Rangers! Rangers together, whipped cream forever!*

**15. **Eating all the chocolate pudding in the cafeteria. And the ones that Obi-Wan tries to hide from me.

**16. **Operating an Ewok Extermination company in Obi-Wan's apartment when he's not there. Don't worry, we don't actually kill them. We just sing to them until they leave.

**17. **Poking people with a stick.

**18. **Entering rooms via the window. Also, jumping out of said window when the Council members get mad.

**19. **Fire.

**20. **Sugar. Lots and lots of sugar. WOO!

* * *

><p><em>Muahahahaha! I made it 20 things when it's chapter 19! I'm evil, I know. :)<em>


	20. 19 Weird Things ObiWan Likes

**19 Things Obi-Wan Likes**

**1.** Getting Anakin back for getting me back for putting eggs in his boots to get him back because he dyed my robes pink _again._

**2. **Jawa flavored tea. You can really taste the Jawa!

**3. **Chasing Anakin around to 'try and get some Anakin ice cream.' He deserves it for sending a group of fangirls after me because they wanted a 'Kenobi Bar.' I think one of them bit me...

**4. **Firecrackers. They make things go boom.

**5. **Making things go boom.

**6. **Throwing pretty pretty flowers at unsuspecting Senators. They are not to be eaten...kidding, I meant trusted. Or am I kidding?

**7. **Roasted rancor with Senator sauce and extra ketchup.

**8. **Playing lightsabers with Beardy. I mysteriously got a cut on my face from a lightsaber at that exact same time...the Healers told me not to play lightsabers with him anymore. Meanies.

**9. **Watching my pet try to shoot a bowl of cereal off the table. He's a destroyer droid, but he's actually really nice! He's only tried to kill me 49 times!

**10.** What would you do-OO-oo for a Kenobi Bar?

**11.** Sorry, my annoying former Padawan wrote that when I wasn't looking. I can't help it if shiny objects are... *We are having technical difficulties. We are deeply sorry for Obi-Wan acting like an idiot*

**12. **Acting like an idiot. Key word: ACTING.

**13. **Starring in commercials because I'm a better actor than a certain Jedi Knight that just stands in front of the camera and brags about how hot he looks.

**14. **Eating popcorn and watching the crazy fangirls on their latest "Anakin Hunt".

**15. **Hiding in the closet during the daily "Obi-Wan Hunt" by said fangirls.

**16. **Toni-i-i-i-ight! We are Jedi! So let's set the Temple on fire- Oh, right, I'm not supposed to be singing that. Makes the other Jedi paranoid, they think I'm going to set the Temple on fire! As you all know, that's what Anakin does in...wait, am I allowed to break the fourth wall?

**17. ***Anakin runs in* Fourth wall! You're breaking the fourth wall!

**18. **Refusing to go to bed. No one's ever making me go to the cursed bedroom of sleepiness! HAHAHA!

**19. **Chocolate drizzled on a pair of boots, which are filled with shredded cheese. Top it off with sprinkles and death. And sprinkles.

* * *

><p>I love watching Family Guy! Anyone else who does should be able to figure out the quote in there easily. Oh, and it's 12:06 AM, so this is a really random chapter.<p> 


	21. Video Games: The Force Unleashed

**Video Games: The Force Unleashed: Part 1**

It was a nice, peaceful afternoon on Coruscant. Or it would have been if it weren't for a certain Togruta Padawan who was REALLY into her video game.

Ahsoka was sitting on her bed in her completely pitch black room, playing The Force Unleashed on her Wii.

"Starkiller's lightsaber color needs to be changed. No, I don't like that color, I'm changing it back. Oh Kriff, how did Kota do that? I don't know how to beat him and I've been fighting him for an hour!"

It was insane, she didn't care that Anakin had no doubt hear her screaming at the game for the past hour trying to beat the stupid boss.

"That's it, I'm getting cheat codes."

A few minutes later...

Ahsoka ran out of her room, despite the fact that the light hurt her eyes, laughing and jumping out of down.

Anakin was sitting on the couch, watching a show, "And why are you so happy?"

"I beat this really hard boss! I beat him!" she laughed, before going back into the darkness of her room and continued playing.

oOo

**The Force Unleashed: Part 2**

"Force Lightning is so much fun! No wonder the Sith like it so much!" the Padawan said to herself, electrocuting a bunch of stormtroopers.

At that moment, she had to pause the game because the blanket fell off the window and knocked over the stuffed animals and a pillow! That was the only way to get the room dark enough so the screen could be seen!

"Ew..." Ahsoka said as she finished setting everything back up, there was a bug on her wall! She squished it with a spare shoe that had been lying on the floor despite the fact that she was supposed to have picked it up and started playing the game again.

Of course, that was when her Master decided that they needed to go to the store. She paused the game, refusing to turn it off, and followed (reluctantly) him out of the apartment.

The second they got back, Ahsoka dashed into her room again and grabbed the Wii remote with a smile.

"I knew Juno and Starkiller were meant to be! I knew it!" she said to herself, watching the screen with a smirk.

"Master, I beat ANOTHER boss! These guys are soooooo easy!" Ahsoka told him, coming into the kitchen for some food to take to her room. She had ran in, grabbed some stuff, and ran back as fast as she could.

Hours later...

"No...this can't be over already! NO!" Ahsoka screamed, staring at the game, "I need the second one NOW! I need to know what happens!"

Anakin watched, amused, as Ahsoka came out of her room for the first time in hours.

"I need the second one, I beat the game."

"Can't you just replay it?" he asked, raising an eyebrow at her.

"Well, yeah and I'm totally going to, but I need the second one."

"I heard you yelling in there, you must have REALLY been into that game."

"Yes, Yes I was. Because it's AWESOME! Now, go buy me The Force Unleashed 2."

Anakin sighed, trying to think of a solution without having to actually go out and buy the game with the rest of the credits he had.

By the time he came up with a solution, Ahsoka had already gone to bed.

"She went to bed...I guess I won't go out and buy the game for her, then. She obviously doesn't want it."

And with that, Emo Jedi/ Anakin Skywalker went to sleep.

_Ahsoka was me in this chapter. Seriously, this is EXACTLY what happened to me when I got The Force Unleashed. Every line from "Anakin sighed...etc." to the end is made up. But I swear the rest of it is a true story. :)_


	22. Twelve Days of Life Day

**Bold** text is Anakin, regular text is Obi-Wan.

"**On the first day of Life Day**

**A battle droid gave to me**

**A bomb for all the Clones to see!"**

"Anakin, are you really that stupid-"

"**On the second day of Life Day**

**A bald Master gave to me**

**Two poisoned apples**

**And a bomb for all the Clones to see!"**

"Mace did that? Somehow, I'm not surprised..."

"**On the third day of Life Day**

**My wife-I mean life- gave to me**

**Three piles of dirty laundry**

**Two poisoned apples**

**And a bomb for all the Clones to see!"**

"Did you say wife? Hm..." he thinks for a few hours, "Nah, I'm so smart I would know if my former Padawan was married to the Senator of Naboo and was going to get her pregnant, then go and kill all the Jedi because a Dark Lord of the Sith offered him cookies. Like that would ever happen!"

"**On the fourth day of Life Day**

**My Padawan gave to me**

**Four hungry rancors**

**Three piles of laundry**

**Two poisoned apples**

**And a bomb for all the Clones to see!"**

"Remind me to thank Ahsoka later."

"**On the fifth day of Life Day**

**My good old Master gave to me**

**Five whacks on the head**

**Four hungry rancors **

**Three piles of laundry**

**Two poisoned**

**And a bomb for all the Clones to see!"**

"You're welcome."

"**On the sixth day of Life Day**

**The Chancellor gave to me**

**Some really awesome cookies**

**Five whacks on the head**

**Four hungry rancors**

**Three piles of laundry**

**Two poisoned apples**

**And a bomb for all the Clones to see!"**

"Dang it, the old fool didn't think to poison the cookies. Or at least put a sedative in them."

"**On the seventh day of Life Day**

**My best friend Rex gave to me**

**Seven pretty stun bolts**

**Six really awesome cookies**

**Five whacks on the head**

**Four hungry rancors**

**Three piles of laundry**

**Two poisoned apples**

**And a bomb for all the Clones to see!"**

"Rex deserves a raise. But the Clones don't get paid, maybe I'll just bake him some of my famous broccoli cookies"

"**On the eighth day of Life Day**

**Old Dooku gave to me**

**Eight stabs in the stomach**

**Seven pretty stun bolts**

**Six really awesome cookies**

**Five whacks on the head**

**Four hungry rancors**

**Three piles of laundry**

**Two poisoned apples**

**And a bomb for all the Clones to see!"**

"Anakin was complaining all day that his stomach hurt. At least with my gift, he slept for a while. Or at least I think he was sleeping..."

"**On the ninth day of Life Day**

**Dead Qui-Gon gave to me**

**Nine ghosts of his plants**

**Eight stabs in the stomach**

**Seven pretty stun bolts**

**Six really awesome cookies**

**Five whacks on the head**

**Four hungry rancors**

**Three piles of laundry**

**Two poisoned apples**

**And a bomb for all the Clones to see!"**

"**On the tenth day of Life Day**

**A fun-sized troll gave to me**

**Ten bowls of toxic soup**

**Nine ghosts of his plants**

**Eight stabs in the stomach**

**Eight stabs in the stomach**

**Seven pretty stun bolts**

**Six really awesome cookies**

**Five whacks on the head**

**Four hungry rancors**

**Three piles of laundry**

**Two poisoned apples**

**And a bomb for all the Clones to see!"**

"Toxic, it is not!"

"Get out of here, Yoda! This is my gig!"

"**On the eleventh day of Life Day**

**My loyal Clone Troopers gave to me**

**Eleven pounds of bricks (on my head)**

**Ten bowls of toxic soup**

**Nine ghosts of his plants**

**Eight stabs in the stomach**

**Seven pretty stun bolts**

**Six awesome cookies**

**Five whacks on the head**

**Four hungry rancors**

**Three piles of laundry**

**Two poisoned apples**

**And a bomb for all the Clones to see!"**

"Next time try twelve pounds."

"**On the twelfth day of Life Day**

**The Force gave to me**

**Twelve visions of Sith cookies**

**Eleven pounds of bricks (on my head)**

**Ten bowls of toxic soup**

**Nine ghosts of his plants**

**Eight stabs in the stomach**

**Seven pretty stun bolts**

**Six awesome cookies**

**Five whacks on the head**

**Four hungry rancors**

**Three piles of laundry**

**Two poisoned apples**

**And a bomb for all the Clones to see!"**

"And a former Padawan to annoy me!"


	23. The Lost Thanksgiving Chapter

"I want a Wampa, and dynamite, and a skateboard, and TNT, and a new lightsaber that I can't destroy in 5 seconds, and a bomb, and and...um...oh, and I want a live size statue of myself!" Anakin sat on a turkey at the zoo, to the...amusement...of his Padawan who was too busy throwing staplers at the security guards.

Eventually, after Ahsoka ran out of staplers and Anakin somehow managed to shut up for 10 seconds, security threw them out. Literally.

**oOo**

To the dump to the dump to the dump dump dump to the dump to the dump to the dump dump dump to the dump to the dump to the duuuuuuuuuuump, to the dump dump dump.

**oOo**

"All I want for Life Day is some dynamite! Dynamite! Dynamite! All I want for Life Day is some dynamite! So I can blow up the Council Chambers!"

Obi-Wan Jello Kenobi was doing his almost the day before Thanksgiving tradition, singing a bunch of weird songs while ignoring the fact that Anakin got thrown away. Again.

"Across the land of marshmallows

To Mario Kart Land we go

The wampa knows the way

To squirt cheese and say

It is Thanksgiving Day! Yay!"

The security guards from the dump were sick and tired of his horrible singing. So, naturally, they chased him with pitchforks and cheese cubes.

"Ooo, piece of cheese. OW!" "Ooo, piece of cheese. OW!" "Ooo, piece of cheese. OW!" "OW! Ooo, piece of OW! Cheese." Over and over again, Obi-Wan fell for the suspicious looking cheese cube traps until finally stealing all the cheese and running for his life back to the Temple.

Settling down for a nice, deadly, Thanksgiving meal from the *gasp* cafeteria. Everyone in the Jedi Temple managed, with the help of the Force, and gas masks, to ignore the toxic fumes and inedible food to have a wonderfully awkward dinner. The end.


	24. I'm trying to study here!

"We've got a clue!"

"Clue, clue, clue!" the chorus echoed.

"We've got a clue-oo-oo-OO!" Yeah, we've got a clue!"

Ahsoka groaned, why had she wanted him as a Master again? Oh, right, he makes really awesome pancakes. But listening to her Master singing about trying to find a potato chip army wasn't on her "To Do" list.

"Master, PLEASE, I'm trying to-"

"Here, have a pancake!" he yelled, throwing it so it landed perfectly atop her head, "Oh yeah, touchdown!"

Tossing it to the man-eating mutant taco in the corner, she grabbed her studies and headed over to Obi-Wan's Quarters. At least she could get some peace and quiet _there_.

"Hey, Ahsoka, meet Steve!" Obi-Wan grinned.

"Hi!" a giant freaking teddy bear yelled, making Ahsoka jump so high out of surprise she stuck to the ceiling.

"Oh, I forgot to tell you Steve learned how to use glue. But don't worry- he doesn't have emotions or the ability to use weapons yet."

_So much for peace and quiet._

She peeled herself off the ceiling and walked out, hearing screaming just as the door closed.

"OH MY GLOB HE FOUND A BLASTER! RUN FOR YOUR LIIIIIIIIIII *five minutes later* IIIIVES!"

By that time the Togruta Padawan had gone and locked herself in a closet to avoid any more insane/idiotic/brainless Jedi.


	25. How dare you

Obi-Wan Kenobi strolled into the Council chambers, looking as dashingly handsome as ever.

As he sat down, everyone gave him a bewildered look.

"Master Kenobi, how dare you break the code like this!"

He raised his eyebrow, "Like what?"

"You know what you did."

"I ate a sandwich without throwing it on the ground first?"

"No."

"I married a creepy green thing and had a million barfing babies?"

"No, Yoda already did that."

"Dang it!"

Adi jumped up, tears spraying everywhere like a sprinkler, "You-you monster! How could you?"

Grinning, Yoda spoke up, "Very simple it is. When two Yodas, love each other, they do..."

"I WASN'T TALKING TO YOU, YOU HAIRY FREAKING TOAD!" threw the thing out the window, she did, "Ok. Now that Yoda is out the window, I'll resume flooding the room with my tears."

Obi-Wan rolled his eyes and continued his conversation with Mace, "What did I do?"

"You...wore boots without socks!"

Gasps of horror sounded throughout the room.

****"Oh," Obi-Wan rolled his eyes again, "Anakin ate them."


	26. Story Telling

**Time Skip. Don't be mad at me, I just do what the bunny overlords tell me to do.**

"And them...he cut off my hand! AAHHH!"

Wedge nodded his head as he listened to his friend rambling on and on about his duel with Vader.

"Then...uh...he pushed me and I fell."

"Why didn't you just use your magic powers to jump back up?"

"It's complicated."

The Corellian crossed his arms, "Doesn't seem like it to me."

_SMACK._

"Ow!"

Luke grinned and walked off, leaving behind a very angry pilot in his wake.

"Man, you're just like Leia. Sometimes I think you two are related."


	27. So Long and Thanks For All the Fish

_ I would like to thank every single person who has made this story a success. This was my first story – ever – on this site and I was taken aback by how popular it got. I am sad to say that the time has finally come...the last chapter. I promise I will make a sequel, and it will be up sometime in the next month. Duck's honor._

* * *

><p><strong>1. The color of love<strong>

"You green-blooded hobgoblin!"

Han sighed and turned around, "Leia, for the last time. I'm Corellian, that does not mean my skin or my blood is green. Besides when you cook that is."

_SLAP._

* * *

><p><strong>2. Who I am<strong>

"Do you know what a pain your are? You think the rules don't apply to you."

"'Cuz they don't. I'm Han freaking Solo."

* * *

><p><strong>3. The needs of the many<strong>

"Han, you're going to get yourself killed! Luke is gone, if you go in there to rescue him you'll endanger the lives of every idiot on this ship! And me!"

"The needs of the many don't outweigh the means of this awesome guy standing in my shoes. Oh to the yeah."

* * *

><p><strong>4. Battle zone<strong>

"We're outnumbered, outgunned..." there was a twinge of fear to the Princess's voice, something the Captain had never heard before.

He put his hands on her shoulders and looked down at her seriously, "Bam Bam. You're dead."

* * *

><p><strong>5. Decisions made<strong>

The bounty hunter was goating him, trying to get on his nerves until his blood boiled. Until he snapped and _attacked_.

"Is there anything you would not do for your family?"

Ouch. The question struck close to home for the smuggler-turned-General. Chewie, Leia, Luke, heck, even Landowas close to him. He'd never realized until now how close he had become to others, after years of being along. Of being _Solo._

He took a deep breath, steadying his gaze and locking eyes with the man before him, "I would do anything, except for eating a pickle. Man, those things are NASTY."

* * *

><p><strong>6. It has come<strong>

When he was a boy, everyone was always talking of the 'coming of the end.' The day when life would end as we knew it. Most people, his parents included, called them crazy. Lunatics. Oh how he wished they had listened.

"War is coming! And who's gonna lead us, YOU?"

That was what his neighbor had always said, going to every news outlet in the land to challenge the leader of the Republic. What he meant, no one knew. After all, they were already knee deep in a war that was quickly spiraling out of control. Most people did the same thing they always did to those who dared to speak out: insane, deserving to be locked up for their own sakes.

And then they came. Their shining white armor, not so shiny anymore as they kicked through the door and took his parents from him. The Emperor had deemed them traitors, for trying to keep their kindly neighbor safe from his wrath. The end of his world, the world that he once knew.

The war had come, with no one to lead them on. The war had come.

* * *

><p><em>I have to admit I'm not really sure where that last one came from. Being half-asleep does that to you sometimes. :)<em>

_First person to know where the quotes in here came from (ALL of them, hint hint) and doesn't want to murder me will get a story dedicated to them. :) Leave your answers in a review and I will announce the winner with a quick Author's Note for the next chapter. This is, technically, still the last chapter though._

_Again, I'd like to thank all of you for being such awesome readers and encouraging me to keep writing even when I doubted myself. Special thanks to Anakin-Jason-Skywalker Kenobi and Insert-A-Catchy-Penname-Here for being the best friends a girl could ask for._

- **So long and thanks for all the fish. Epic Duck.**


End file.
